Posts Tagged ‘Movies’

Hallway – Ready for Feelings. Not.

I can’t tell you who coined the phrase but it’s apt in so much of the modern “entertainment” options. Even in so-called action films, instead of having the characters taking full advantage of the visual medium and engaging us with action, they stand around and talk. They have multi-million dollar budgets and stellar casts but somehow all the writers/directors can think to do is have them talking at each other. It’s even worse than some novels’ expository info dumps, because there you can at least skim the pages until the action starts. Comics and graphic novels, even those who are supposedly centered around “action” superheroes, prefer to have talking heads** instead of dynamic battles. (The only dynamics they seem to be interested in is who can they race-bend or gender flip.)

In these shows, the directors/writers believe that we want to watch two people talking at each other with their faces twitching and pointing their menacing eyes at each other. Great for comic effect or as an homage to the cheesy old films that used those kinds of camera close-ups*. I just watched a movie where they employed the awful, dreaded info dump to catch the viewer up on a place’s history, but at least it was funny because the guy never said a word and just kind of ignored the person doing the telling.

It’s maddening, but worst of all, it’s flat out boring.

It’s kind of up there with a lot of current movie/series writers having NO IDEA HOW to “show, don’t tell”. Instead of proving by a character’s actions that she’s smart and amazing, or having her prove it to herself through the story arc, they have another character tell her how awesome she is from the get-go. The writers completely circumvent the character’s story arc, and they’ve even twisted the stories that previously had the arc into modern tripe.

Ugh, I could go on. But I will spare you.

Instead, I’d like to propose a solution. It’s pretty easy, and I’ve already mentioned it, but in case you missed it:

SHOW DON’T TELL.

Don’t say “She’s a lush”. Show her being tossed out of the bar at 0200, staggering to stand up and forgetting which way home is.

Don’t say “he’s kind”. Show him offering to help a young mother when he sees her wrestling with a grocery cart and baby carriage.

Don’t say “The organization is greedy”. Show a fleet of wrecking balls and construction vehicles with their logo on it pulling into the neighborhood, lead by a limo with a guy in a slick suit climbing out and giving orders before he even bothers to address the worried residents of the tenement block.

Frankly, I think the stories fall flat because the current writers are so conflict-averse that they can’t even write it into a plot. Can anyone tell me what reason there is for a story to even exist if there’s no conflict and no plot? Anyone?

Addendum: I’ll be fair. The talking-head thing isn’t a new phenomenon. There are some older ones out there just as bad. I’d never really seen Lonesome Dove back in the 80s, so I took a chance to watch it when it came on recently. Standing around talking. I could only take about 30 minutes of it. The most amusing part were the young pigs looking for a biscuit breakfast, and who dutifully went away with empty bellies when told the food was for the humans. And Jeremiah Johnson? The bear fight scene, early in the movie, was the only tolerable part of the film. Proof that “visually stunning” does not make up for lack of coherent plot, or even a narrative.


*Was it just me, or did you hear that cheesy “Wah-wah-wah” from the old Clint Eastwood spaghetti westerns just now?

**Talking heads not Talking Heads. I like Talking Heads. (I would have provided a link, but the only sites seem to be disconnected, belonging to some camera aficionado or wiki, and I’d rather not.)

Crows and Bats and the Moon, Oh My!

It’s a tradition in my house to start watching a movie a night (well, most nights) on October 1st that fit the scary or Halloween theme. The definition is pretty loose, in some cases, because there are a few fun titles in there. And we don’t really worry about the order, although there are one or two we save for the very last days around Halloween. So here are some of the movies we love to watch in October:

  • Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter – I went in expecting silliness, got a not-terrible film with Rufus Sewell. Yum.
  • Beetlejuice – does it work if you type his name three times in a row? Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!
  • Bram Stoker’s Dracula – Gary Oldman is an excellent version of Vlad Tepes, Dracula
  • The Company of Wolves – a bizarre movie (with Angela Lansbury and David Warner!) that’s a loosely-strung-together narrative based on Angela Carter’s The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories.
  • Corpse Bride – a strange little Tim Burton gem but nevertheless good watching.
  • Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness – you have to watch all three. Maybe AoD twice.
  • Hocus Pocus – I can’t stand that nutbag Midler, so it’s extra special when she gets her just desserts at the end.
  • In the Mouth of Madness – the only Lovecraftian one here, but I’m usually watching HPL movies year round by myself.
  • The Last Witch Hunter – with Vin Diesel. It didn’t get high ratings but hey, I don’t think it’s all that bad and it at least tried to be something a little different than your run-of-the-mill films in the genre.
  • Nightmare Before Christmas – this one gets double-duty as Halloween and Christmas (yeah, we watch movies like this in December, too.)
  • Sweeney Todd – the one with Johnny Depp, although I loved watching the broadway version with Angela Lansbury on one of the cable networks when I was younger.
  • Tucker and Dale Versus Evil – a comic-horror reversal of the “Rednecks terrorizing college kids in the woods”. Gruesome fun.
  • Van Helsing – I’m a purist ofttimes, but I can say I enjoy the different take on the main horror trio – Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster and the Wolf-man of this one. I don’t think it takes itself very seriously, which is perfectly fine. Doesn’t hurt that Hugh Jackman is easy to look at. I especially like short Bond-style sequence of Friar Carl introducing Van Helsing to the weapons he’s invented.
  • Young Frankenstein – “HE VAS MY… BOYFRIEND!” (With the late Gene Wilder, Madeline Kahn, Peter Boyle, Marty Feldman, Kenneth Mars… I think Gene Hackman and Terri Garr are the only major players still around from this masterpiece, sadly.)

On nights we don’t watch a movie? Usually Saturday, when we’re watching Svengoolie, of course, but we watch him all year round and he gets plenty of the horror classics on the playlist. You should check out his hosting, especially if you’re a fan of MST3K.

How about you? Any here you love? Hate? Any you think ought to be in our viewing list but isn’t?

Don’t be shy – let me know!

EDIT: There are still a few days to get some fantastic reads for free by helping out the authors (I’m included but there are sooooooo many more) with a review. Check that out HERE